Grace and glory

Photos of where I'm sitting around all day trying to recover

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 19:15:23 GMT

I mentioned recently that I would take a few photos when I finally dug my camera out of the trunk of my car. A friend did so today, so here are a few pix.

Not recording my thoughts is driving me crazy

Sat, 26 Jan 2008 20:48:41 GMT

It hurts almost too much to check email today but I'm going to update for a sec. I used to be big on journaling every day, and then I stopped for a year or so when I got depressed over stuff going on in my life. Then I started emailing ppl again a lot and found that I was still journaling, only it was in the form of sharing my life and thoughts withothers. Then when I started writing the faith blog I realized that some of that old journaling instinct is coming out there too, and maybe even here. Still I have a million things to say and my body just won't cooperate. My hand strength is terrible and it hurts way up there in my shoulder just to tap a key with a finger.
Maybe I'll take some self portraits this week and some pics of my surroundings to post here so you can see where I'm spending all these hours sitting bored senseless. Of course, that means I have to find the camera. It's buried in the trunk of my car. And I'm not going to dig it out if it's too hard to find. House M.D. episodes help immensely with boredom though. Best show on television.
And I have a whole bunch of time alone to pray.

Reader informed me Outdoors address is wrong

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 20:00:26 GMT

Hey ya'll. Not doing so well with this linking thing on Windows Live. Now I've figured it out. Here's the link: http://orig.jacksonsun.com/outdoors/index.shtml

Please take a look and get an idea of where you might like to go this winter or spring. The Smokies are awesome in winter, especially when it's snowy. Just remember that black bears don't hibernate but estivate, which means that they are out roaming occasionally, so you still need to be aware of it and not spook them on a quiet trail.
Another area that is green this time of year is South Cumberland National Recreation Area a couple hours southeast of Nashville off I-24. See the pictures. I guarantee you'll want to go.

Also new and notable: I've added some links to my faith list that you'll want to see.

Shoulder injury can't keep me down for long

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 20:56:58 GMT

I'm off work so I won't be writing much for a few weeks. But if you're bored and want to read what I've written over the past three years for The Jackson Sun on the outdoors, visit www.jacksonsun.com/outdoors. You'll also find photo galleries of places I've been. Some are really fun to look back on and remember those long days out hiking in solitude. Other trips were taken with youth from my church, all of whom are a total hoot. And the pictures really reflect that, so check them out. When you visit the site, just view the links under Photo Galleries. My favorites are from The Smokies, South Cumberland and Greeter Falls, but all the galleries are fun because the places I've been are so different, each unique in its own way.

I expect to be out in my boat again by April paddling a new river and writing about it for our newspaper.

New photos of my little sweeties

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 22:07:26 GMT

There are a couple of new photos I've added this afternoon, and that's only because I'm in bed trying to recover from a sinus infection. It's waaaay too much trouble to maintain two blogs, especially when one of them is getting nearly 6,000 hits a month, so this one is falling to the wayside.
If you're really interested in what I'm thinking about, visit jacksonsun.com and click on blogs. It's the only one that I can keep up with at this point and still maintain friendships and my relationship with God without stress.
Meanwhile, see new pics of Gracie and Conor, my favorites, and their fairly new puppy Benny. Conor came up with his name.

Got the blahs; too busy to spend time writing right now

Sun, 09 Dec 2007 02:43:46 GMT

I've had the blahs, the blues, whatever. Something's wrong with my faith blog account, and I'm unable to post, which not good since it's my job and stuff, and I won't be at work again until Thursday.
I'm just not in the mood to write. I need to spend more time with God. It may be awhile before I write again. Or it may be tomorrow.

See the new pictures

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 03:58:46 GMT

The most recent album above includes the newest pictures of my niece and nephew, my little favorites. I can't imagine loving anyone more. Some people tell me that Gracie and I look alike, although I can't see it. I can see, however, how she looks like her mom and other relatives.
They're a total riot. I can't imagine life without them.

A culture of death is altering the thinking of a whole generation

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 02:49:37 GMT

It's funny how you think you'll always be the same person with the same tastes, same desires, same traits, same thoughts, same preferences.
It's funnier how quickly you start to not care whether you're hip to whatever's new and notable in this world.
There is so much bizarre stuff out there that's just commonplace now. I'd offer examples, but I'm just too tired right now to care. I will say this: It seems that the culture in which we live -- worldwide, really -- has been celebrating death and dark themes for such a long time now that it's no longer viewed as something that's out of the ordinary.
Dark themes abound in everything from movies to music videos on YouTube to comic books and graphic novels. It was just getting to be a little bit popular when I was in high school. Now it's common to see death and the macabre everywhere you look. It's seen as a cool way to express yourself, the whole "dead is the new alive" idea. Very few think it's harmful in any way. But I think it has the potential to alter the human psyche, conditioning an entire culture to celebrate things that just aren't celebratory.
Around Halloween this year, I read a story on the wire about a wedding going on at a haunted house. It was the most bizarre thing I've ever seen. It was all blood and gore and death. Employees -- friends of the bride and groom -- dressed as they would for a night of work. One lady was quoted as saying it was "just beautiful."
I'm just trying to get my mind around it, but there's a whole generation growing up thinking that this -- this whole trend toward celebrating death -- is not so bizarre. I think it's desensitization (is that a word?) in the worst way.
That makes me un-hip for sure and what some would call "reactionary." I'm just having a hard time seeing how this is good for us.

Raging headache, busy schedule

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 03:16:19 GMT

I've just returned from a weekend in Mississippi and a very busy two days off after that. I've gotten a lot done, but still I feel that I must keep up with everything I would have normally accomplished. Ridiculous.
I'm starting to learn that God doesn't want me exhausted with care about making sure it all gets done and gets done efficiently. I'm starting to recognize areas that I felt I must cover when, in fact, I don't have to do everything, be everything, be aware of everything, be available to everyone concerning everything all the time.
This is not easy for me. I like to be on top of things. I like to be available to others. I like to be useful and helpful. But I've gone overboard and gotten out of balance. I'm learning to slow down. I'm learning to relax a little.
If He's OK with me actually not overscheduling and not always being available, then I should be, too.

Please see the latest family photos

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 02:56:40 GMT

I've created a very small gallery of the latest family photos. My nephew Conor just tested for his orange belt, so he's excited about that.

Headed into the Thanksgiving Day bonanza

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 23:38:02 GMT

Since I'll be working on Thanksgiving Day, it's been nice to have people coming out of the woodwork to invite me over. I'll be stopping by a friend's house at some point in the evening, and her kids and I will paint their windows with decorations -- I wouldn't normally decorate but hey, it's for the kids.
My friend Lisa invited me to her house a few years ago, and it was a total riot. They loved the fact that I wanted to eat the turkey leg. We had so much fun that day, and the food was ab fab.
Living away from home for so long, I've kind of lost that whole nostalgic, traditional "I must be home for the holidays" feeling. It doesn't bother me to be away. Of course, I don't want to spend the day alone, either.
Coming up: New pictures of my niece and nephew.

Response from a reader got me to thinking about where I've been spiritually

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:16:43 GMT

I'd like to post here a response I wrote to a reader this morning who is feeling discouraged. She responded to something I said in the faith blog. You can read it at www.jacksonsun.com/blogs on yesterday's entry (Sunday, Nov. 18).

Here's the response I wrote.

I hate to hear you're in the desert, but at the same time, I'm glad to hear it, because it really is during those times that God is working something on the inside that couldn't be done any other way.

You've said it well.

I've pretty much been in a desert place for, oh, six months or more, easily.

I'm not dreaming about anything significant. I'm not feeling much like I'm getting any special revelation when I'm reading my Bible. I'm not particularly motivated to pray and worship like in times past. I just feel bone dry inside. But I'm doing it anyway, because I know that this thing is not about a feeling.

And that's when it's most difficult to stay motivated and encouraged and happy about life in general. It's also for me the hardest time to stay committed to prayer, feeling like my prayers are hitting the ceiling.

I was telling the Lord the other day, "I don't feel encouraged." And instantly I remembered that passage in scripture where it says "David encouraged himself in the Lord."

I realized that I must be looking too much for people and things going on to keep me encouraged, when what I really need to do is go to the source and drink of that living water all day long. Still it doesn't seem to be slaking my thirst.

When it really gets down to it, I'm finding that no church program, no ministry, no friendships and no free time activities have the ability to make me feel satisfied and fulfilled. It's only time with the Lord that brings that lasting grace and fulfillment.

And even in spending time with God, I'm not feeling particularly excited about much of anything at all, but I know that He's working to get me to the place where I'm not looking for a feeling but am secure in trusting in the relationship, whether I see anything happening in my life or not.

Somehow I always feel that I am always just on the cusp of great things happening in my life -- and yet they take so dog-gone long to come to pass. I'm always waiting on something, unable to enjoy the now for what it is. I can't stand that about myself.

That covers many areas, and I told a friend recently "Sometimes I feel like a prisoner of my own life" because the Lord has me hemmed in. It's so hard to explain, but somehow I know that you completely understand what I'm saying.

I read most of "Dark Night of the Soul" by St. John of the Cross a couple of years ago when I was going through hell personally. It took forever to get through that book because it was written so long ago and was hard to understand. I had to go back over paragraphs two and three times to get the gist of it sometimes.

And some of it is just way too "mystical" for me. I guess that's why he's called a mystic in Catholic circles. But there is a kernel of truth in much of what he's saying about what he called "The Dark Night," when we basically find ourselves in what seems like a black hole, where there's no life, wondering, "Where are you God?"

He's basically saying that not only is God in it, He's orchestrated it. He mentioned at one point the idea that in the darkness we feel when we're in that wilderness thing going on, God will shine a light on an area that needs to be conformed more into His will and that it's a painful place to be.

I remember reading something somewhere about how people who do the most intricate sewing have to work in the dark, with only a tiny light shining on the work that's being done. That enables them to work very carefully and to see the details so that the work can be perfected.

I think maybe that's a good word picture for how God is working in our lives when we feel like we're in the dark and can't see what's going on around us.

I swear, I went through it for two years solid, from feeling completely alone and misunderstood on the back side of a desert to then feeling like I was going through an intense refiner's fire.

I asked the Lord at one point, completely exasperated, "When are you going to take me out of this fire?" I don't remember getting any indication of a response.

I just remember one day that I woke and the burden had been lifted and that I felt like I could breathe easy again, as if that cloud of oppressive darkness had finally given up its hold.

I think that God is working something in the Body of Christ right now that is so essential and authentic that even the elect don't quite know how to handle it.

It's as if He's stripping us of everything that makes us feel fulfilled and comfortable about our relationship with God and how we approach Him, whether that's in a church setting or all alone in quiet devotional time.

Personally, many of my casual friendships with Christians who are not in a mentoring role have been stripped away. I started noticing it a couple of years ago, that people started dropping out of my life -- people with whom I'd spent many hours praying, worshipping, discussing my personal life, enjoying fellowship.

I think that God has been stripping away a whole bunch of stuff in an effort to help me to stay completely focused on Him and for me to find out what really is most important to me.

I still do stuff with people, but not like before. Now I'm the one who is in more of a mentoring role to others, rather than having a bunch of friends to just hang out with who are on the same level spiritually.

It can be a really lonely place. I'm learning how to take up my cross and follow, knowing what God has promised to me, knowing that the path on which I carry my cross leads me nowhere but death to self in pretty much every area of my life.

I've added a new listing

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 16:10:37 GMT

Washington Whispers has been the first thing I turn to in U.S. News and World Report every week for years. It's witty and insightful and just fun to read because it offers tidbits on the lighter side of what's going on in the halls of our nation's Capitol.
Now it's online.
Look for it under On the Media on this page.

I want to add a couple videos that I found tonight

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 06:03:57 GMT

I need a jumpstart worship-wise. I found these videos of Rick Pino on YouTube. He was leading worship at a conference I went to in Florida in April, and it was an awesome experience, literally. The awe of God was in that place. Here are a couple of examples of the kind of worship I need right now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4JbN-Lf4oM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ise_Kx36ccc&feature=related

New to the site

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 00:47:41 GMT

I've added some lists of my favorite sites online, including the new MySpace for The Jackson Sun's Get Out! magazine. Check it out to hear a song from a band that played Jackson recently.

I've also added some new photos from my assignment this week to review some events at "A Country Christmas" at Gaylord Opryland Resort and Convention Center in Nashville. The latest and greatest is the ICE! exhibit, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas!" It celebrates 50 years of the Grinch.
Be looking for the story, along with a complete photo gallery, at jacksonsun.com/getout the last Thursday of November.

Check out the gallery, which includes only a few of what I'll publish at jacksonsun.com.

McDonald's can be a crummy place to work

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 14:02:22 GMT

No, not to work for -- to work in.( I worked in the drive-thru at McDonald's in high school and loved that job.) I'm talking about trying to write in this kind of environment. It's noisy. It's uncomfortable. But it does have wi-fi.

Being out of town on assignment, I've worked in a hotel lobby and a McDonald's. I tried Krystal at 6:45 this morning, but their wi-fi was out. It's a real bonus to have wi-fi in public places, but it's not exactly conducive to work. Oh well. At least I'm still online.

Nothing is sacred, and it's a sin and a shame, as my grandmother would say

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 03:42:39 GMT

These Reunion.com ads with a girl dressed as a witch and a ridiculous looking ghost that show up on Windows Live are really bugging me. Halloween is way over.
Meanwhile, it's not even Thanksgiving yet, and certain parts of Jackson already look like Tinseltown. I'm highly unimpressed. I was in Perkins today, and they're already decking the halls. I was downtown, and there's a shop on one end of East Baltimore with a Christmas tree in its window. Two stores down, there's fall merchandise. Good for them. It's Nov. 12 people. We haven't even had the dang Holiday Mart yet. Can't we just wait a little while longer to start celebrating Christmas?
This is messed up. And, of course, at Starbucks, next door, it's all about the holidays already. I have to admit, I did give in and have an eggnog latte. Those should be served year-round. But I'm really irritated with the fact that I'm stuck seeing this stuff waaaay before the Christmas season should ever begin.
I drove past Leaders Credit Union today on University Parkway. Lights are strung and lit.
Is nothing sacred? You won't find me in retail stores until about two weeks before Christmas, if then, when the season is really supposed to begin.
Merry Christmas.

Just in: New pix of my favorite baby ever

Sat, 10 Nov 2007 14:49:12 GMT

This kid has won my heart. She's the daughter of two very important people to me, faithful friends.

'A woman's work is never done': Whoever coined that phrase had it goin' on

Sat, 10 Nov 2007 03:41:12 GMT

No matter how much you seem to get done, there's always so much left to do. It never ends. There's always something that needs to be completed, researched, discussed, planned, brainstormed, practiced, figured out, studied. It can be exhausting.

I had a friend who used to say "Come on. Let's go. You can sleep when you're dead." And I lived by that motto for years, rushing from here to there, always striving, always on top of everything, always in hyperspeed, making sure I never dropped the ball in any area for any reason (I am a good juggler -- I learned how to do it while working a Opryland in Doo-Wah-Diddy-City).

I just can't live that way anymore. In a world where you're only as good as what you accomplished yesterday -- or even today -- I'm unwilling to constantly be striving to be or do something. I think I've finally come to that place of rest where I'm recognizing that God really doesn't love me just because of what I do for Him or how much time I choose to spend seeking Him but that He just loves me.

This idea is hard for me to understand, that He would want to spend time with somebody like me, that He would create me to be His own, that I would ever be on His mind for any reason.

I tell myself from time to time that if the Lord didn't believe in me -- or if He was willing to give up on me -- then He would never have made me in the first place. He didn't allow me to be born just to fail.

I have to remind myself of this -- that His grace really is sufficient and that I don't have to be as perfect as I require of myself to still have His love and constant care.

Hard to believe, but it must be true, because those "great and precious promises" found in His word are for me, too.

God loves diversity; Just look at His creation

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 01:30:51 GMT

I've added a new photo gallery today of images taken by my friend Tina. She took these pictures at the University of Tennessee's West Tennessee Agricultural Research Center. Please take a look on this page.

Photo Album: January 04

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 22:03:37 GMT

January 04

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G.E., Conor & Benny 12 27 07.jpg

Photo Album: November 29

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 03:55:38 GMT

November 29

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Conor Meets Benny.jpg

Photo Album: November 21

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 02:52:56 GMT

November 21

Duncan, Susan and the kids

Doug with the kids

Nanny and Poppy with the kids

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Photo Album: November 16

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 00:55:38 GMT

November 16

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Photo Album: November 08

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 01:25:06 GMT

November 08

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More Photos...

Photo Album: October 23

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 04:33:04 GMT

October 23

Conor, Aunt Ellen and Gracie at BarBCutie in Franklin after a long weekend away from Jackson

I took a snapshot of Conor in the dark. I couldn't see him. I was trying out my new camera's night capabilities.

Ellen is buried somewhere deep in there behind my sweeties.

Conor colors at BarBCutie.jpg

Photo Album: October 20

Sat, 20 Oct 2007 15:01:37 GMT

October 20

Tara, my cousin, and Hannah, my second cousin

Martha Viars, my second cousin

Miriam Viars, my second cousin

Windle Viars, my second cousin

Ellen and Kristina Marie Osgood

Ellen on the way to TheCall Nashville with the church

Ellen and Kristina Marie -- she's growing

Custom List: On Faith

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 20:17:46 GMT

On Faith

Don Miller's fan site
Ask Don Miller questions and read what others are saying about his phenomenal books that are hopefully changing the face of Christianity
Author Don Miller's Web site
This site includes an occasional blog from Miller and links to other interesting blog sites, such as his fan site and another link to his foundation that is helping to recruit mentors for young men without a father in the home.
Burnside Writers Blog
An offshoot of the Burnside Writers Collective. Insightful and fun to read on a Sunday afternoon.
Burnside Writers Collective
An online magazine presenting an alternative to franchise faith. New issues are published every Monday around midnight. You really need to visit this site.
Faith Matters: Ellen's faith blog for The Jackson Sun
I was approached in June by editors about writing a daily blog about my faith for The Jackson Sun. Since June, the readership has quadrupled. In October, we had nearly 6,000 hits, so this is a good thing.
The Elijah List
This prophetic Web site offers insight into what God is saying today.
Glory of Zion Church in Denton, Texas
This prophetic church offers webcasting of its early Tuesday morning prayer watches and its Sunday morning services. It also offers prayer focuses for intercessors. This church is on the cutting edge of hearing from God in this hour.
Sisters' Weblog: It Boggles the Mind!
My new friend Sue's Web site is fun and uplifting and offers food for thought on the Christian life. You will love it.

Blog list: On the Media

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 22:08:56 GMT

On the Media

The PR Guy: Straight to the Point
This blog is written by a director of marketing and biz development for a PR agency. It's telling and good reading for journalists and PR people.
Get Out! magazine on MySpace
My good friend Brian Goins is entertainment editor at The Jackson Sun. This is his new MySpace page for the magazine. You can hear local bands.
Eat the Press
This is a Huffington Post microsite on the media. It's fun to read and focuses on media trends in America.
Stuff We Like
This site is a little offshoot of the CBS News Public Eye blog. It's lighter fare that can be read in 30 seconds. It's provocative in the sense that it will get you to thinking.
Public Eye
This is a CBS News blog site that offers insight into what's being covered in the media and, perhaps, why. It's fun to read and will keep you informed on the story behind the story.
Columbia Journalism Review
Founded in 1961 under the auspices of Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism, CJR examines day-to-day press performance as well as the forces that affect that performance. The magazine is published six times a year. The site is insightful.
Ellen's Outdoors site for The Jackson Sun newspaper
I started writing outdoors pieces about three years ago and have traveled throughout Tennessee and a few other worthy spots out of state to write about my trips for The Jackson Sun, where I've worked for 12 years as an editor and designer.
Washington Whispers
I've been reading Washington Whispers in U.S. News and World Report for years. Now it's online. It offers tidbits on who's who in politics. It's a lot of fun to read.